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The only time I really thought about it was when he would call.My mother then began dating again, and before I knew it, I had a step-father in my life.From what I remember, it was some of the best years of our relationship together.I didn't really have thoughts and feelings about my father or having a father in general.Although I was happy to feel like a “real” family, I started thinking more and more about my biological father.This is where things got bad for me, and as I got into my teenage years, it only got worse. I had a lot of family who went through similar situations, but their advice didn't help me. I couldn't be happy for myself and for what I had because I was too busy focusing and harping on what I have.
I didn't understand why I couldn't have the perfect life, with the perfect mother-father-daughter family.At a young age, my mother and I left my biological father and came back to her hometown to be close to family and friends.Although I wasn't with my father, we had brief phone conversations here and there over the years, filled with empty promises of meeting and having a relationship. My mother and I settled down, had a place to ourselves and spent the next few years just the two of us.You then become the girl that doesn’t feel like it’s the “right” relationship unless you’re feeling insecure and like you have something to “chase after” and “prove.” You gravitate toward relationsh*ts that “keep you on your toes,” instead of relationships that are mutual and genuinely connected.(I’ve exemplified each one of these at one time or another in my life) My parents got divorced when I was very young and the time that I was able to spend with my Father was subsequently minimized.
A few months ago, I was talking to my friend David Kessler, telling him that I couldn’t believe how a particular person in my life knew what buttons to push that would drive me over the edge. of relationship with your Father or a significant male figure from your childhood.